Kids can be picky eaters, refusing some types of food and even vomiting when they are forced to eat a food they do not like. Parents naturally want their kids to learn about a variety of foods. How should we handle picky eaters?

First of all, toddlers want to choose which foods they eat. This is an important part of building their identity. They want to be able to decide for themselves what they put into their body. And in itself, that is a really healthy natural instinct. Of course, parents are still responsible for providing a nutritious diet, but they do not have to expose kids to many new foods yet. Just like in other aspects of their lives, kids like predictability. So arguing with your kids about trying new foods, may really be an argument about identity. This can go on for years and even last through puberty. You’re not letting your kids get away with being disobedient. You’re allowing them to claim the right over their own body. Which is important in numerous ways.

Kids are more resistant to eating new foods before they have had a period in which they can decide for themselves what healthy food to eat. You certainly do not have to allow everything, but you can serve healthy foods that do not cause arguments. They get a say in what goes into their bodies. It’s important that children build a relationship with food that doesn’t revolve around conflict. Kids above eight often have a more relaxed attitude about new foods.

Second, Almost all young children do not eat a balanced diet every day. That isn’t a problem as long as they receive nutrition from all the food groups in the course of a week. Remember that children need a lot less food than adults do and that –depending on their physical development- they can have bigger or smaller appetites from time to time. As long as your child is growing, healthy and doesn’t get tired quickly, there’s probably no reason to worry.

Third, some new foods can be particularly challenging for kids. Especially foods that tickle the inside of the mouth like lettuce, rice and even candy like skittles. It’s a natural reflex to want to spit out stuff that feels like it’s moving around in your mouth. Also, kids taste buds are a lot more sensitive so spicy and salty foods can be a problem. And kids usually like more sweet foods because sugars provide an instant energy source.

Of course at some point you do want kids to try new foods. On average they refuse new foods about twelve times before actually tasting it. They need to feel comfortable with the fact that they have a say in what goes into their body and they need to get used to the idea of the new food. Just prepare it for yourself and offer it to them without any pressure. For example, if lettuce is on the menu once every two weeks and they don’t want to eat it, do not offer them another type of vegetable. They can easily get through a meal that doesn’t have a food group every now and then. They get to choose not to eat something if they do not want to, but they do not get to control what the entire family should eat.

I want to strongly discourage using any type of reward or punishment in combination with food, because it may be related to eating disorders. You want food to be related to living a normal healthy lifestyle, not to managing feelings of self-esteem. I’m also cautious when kids receive toys with their food. Of course, you can present new food in a more attractive way. My younger brother refused all vegetables until I renamed green beans ‘green fries’.

My best advice when introducing new foods is to be patient. If kids aren’t ready to try a new food yet, do not force them. Just model the right behavior and give them the option of trying something new regularly. Allowing kids to help prepare foods is also a good way or familiarizing them with new ingredients.

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